Marriage is challenging and maintaining a good marriage often takes work and effort. Most marriages go through rough patches at times.
Although sometimes the signs that divorce was coming are obvious, other times a spouse is blindsided when being served divorce papers. This situation can lead to a longer, costlier and more contentious divorce process.
Why you should not ignore your marriage troubles
Additionally, a divorce that takes a spouse by surprise often means they are left to handle the practicalities of divorce while trying to deal with the emotions that go along with the ending of a marriage.
This could lead to making poor decisions in the divorce process, resulting in an unsatisfactory resolution to the divorce.
Alternatively, a spouse that saw signs divorce was coming could make better decisions, making it easier to become financially independent and move forward with their life post-divorce.
But how do you know if this is just a bad time in your marriage or if your spouse considers the marriage over and is planning for divorce? Here are some signs to watch for.
When simple gestures, such as saying “please” and “thank you” end, you and your spouse might be heading toward a divorce.
Respect and gratitude are major components of a marriage and it takes little effort to show them. If your spouse starts making hurtful or angry comments and stops apologizing for them or reflecting on their bad behavior, it could be because the marriage has ended in their mind.
Traditions or routines end
Most marriages have traditions or routines, such as dinner at a favorite restaurant for birthdays or summer vacations to a specific destination.
Sometimes we cannot always adhere to our routines, but if they appear to stop for no reason, it could be a bad sign.
If your schedules are especially busy one summer and you cannot fit your usual vacation in, that might not mean anything, but if your spouse simply has no interest in taking the trip, there could be something bigger going on.
These are examples of minor changes in behavior and attitudes that could signal the end of a marriage.
Major signs that a marriage is over
More obvious examples include cheating, lack of intimacy and constant fighting.
Physical abuse is an extreme example of a marriage gone wrong. If neither of you have ever been abusive before and suddenly your spouse appears to be unable to control their anger and takes it out on you, chances are the marriage is over in their mind and you should get yourself out of that situation.
Maryland law allows a spouse to eventually obtain a divorce even if the other spouse does not want it or refuses to participate in the divorce process. This is called a default divorce.
Therefore, if you want to save your marriage but your spouse does not, there is typically not anything you can do about it. It is usually never in your best interest to ignore the divorce process since you risk losing your chance of receiving your fair share of marital property.