During a divorce, your children come first. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they get to make the rules. Some parents feel as if it’s their children’s choice to decide where they live or what visitation schedule they have, but the reality is that you, as a parent, have the control.
While the court wants to know that you’re doing what’s in your child’s best interests, there is a lot of freedom in how you design your parenting plan. You can work out a visitation schedule that considers your child’s needs, your work and hobbies as well as the activities your ex-spouse will be participating in.
Your child might have an opinion about where they want to live or which days they’d like to be at one home or the other, and that’s something you should consider. However, you need to remember that your child isn’t in control. Sometimes, what a child wants isn’t feasible, so you have to disappoint them. Don’t be afraid to say that you’re unable to do what they want; Even if they’re mad now, they’ll adjust to the schedule that you and your ex-spouse create.
You might feel that doing what your child wants will make the situation easier, even if you disagree with it, but the reality is that you have to do what keeps your child safe. Your child’s opinion isn’t always considering all the factors that you know about, so your decision is going to carry more weight than your child’s preferences. There is a fine balance, and you should work to create a schedule that everyone involved can agree with, at least in the immediate future.